Silent Tears (est. 07/2020)

A superior skill that I've I learned over the years is how to highly function despite unique challenges.

I am a high performer at work, and pride myself in being solutions oriented and a tenacious individual. I will always work towards a spirit of excellence and prioritize the needs of others. Going above mediocrity to exhibit exuberant care for my portfolio and others to support and complete multiple tasks in a timely manner is my jam. Often others speak to my high emotional intelligence and the depth of my ability to empathize and encourage others. I'm perceived in many spaces as happy go lucky, charismatic, and gregarious. I work incessantly to empower and love on others. I'm my most electrified when I'm assisting others.

But much like Robin Williams... there are silent tears.

There are tears that stream down the walls of my heart. Tears that coat my mind, and tears that incase my stomach and womb.

Tears that remind me of my wins after tough lessons learned. Tears that remind me of the strife I've overcome. Tears that humble me. Tears that anchor me. Tears produced by the constant and rampant ideology that I can indeed give love and support to others that I so desperately need myself. Tears that sometimes mislead me to believe that I can support others while neglecting myself.

These tears serve as a form of an awakening that rips the façade off the hidden wounds. These silent tears are a present reminder to give myself grace and compassion. These silent tears sing the sorrow of many creatives, empaths, and indigo children that live purposefully to love and bring joy to others while sometimes silently suffering.

These tears sing the stories of Robin, Anthony, Chester, Simone, Don, Lee... and many others whose names we will never know. These tears are the testament to resilience and fierce will. These tears are a reminder that the outside does not always portray the inside. These tears are a reminder to always be kind.

Sometimes, one day can feel like a year. Sometimes, one moment can feel like an odyssey. Sometimes just being present is the gift.

Healing is not linear. And the challenges faced are not always black and white with bolded lines. Sometimes they are colorful and free-range ingredients of sadness, imbalance, and biological factors that create a recipe for devastation, alienation, and condemnation...

Silent tears scream aloud for a semblance of kindness, care, and warm connectivity. Silent tears are often shed, alone and from those you least expect them from. Silent tears are an exposition of pain personified. Silent tears flow from even the strongest, most compassionate, vivacious, and creative of people. Silent tears flow from the high producing and high functioning workers. Silent tears flow from those committed to drying the tears of others.

Without the silent tears, in many cases, the world would never know the pain housed within the most committed beings filled with love and conviction to share their light.

I stand with you, with silent tears, knowing this is not the end and praying you know that as well.