The Breaking (est.2020)

I wanted to write this post, and tie it to some deep profound meaning; a breaking ground and soil and reaping what you sow, but that's not really this post .

I'm also not trying to tie it to some concept of suffering and being tested by God.

But instead I think the focal point of this post is identifying the breaking point in which becomes the catalyst for your need for change and transformational healing.

I have carried the weight of feeling like a liability for many years now surrounding my health challenges. My fear was not of dying, but instead fading into nothingness when I need the ones I care about the most, and not living a purposeful life with the gifted time I have.

I carried this guilt and this fear of becoming a burden to those I love. Silently persecuting myself any time I had a health issue. Pushing myself to get better at quicker times so I didn't seem like I was in a rut.

I was determined.

But there's a breaking that happens when you realize you cannot control circumstances that directly affect your life. When you want to do but you can't, When you want to move but you can't, When you're forced to just sit in it.

That is some of us' present moment.

We are cocooning because whatever practices we had previously they no longer serve us well. We're cocooning to preserve the energy needed to manifest who we are and who we are becoming. We are cocooning so that we transform our healing and manifest our purpose.

We must take this deliberate time to go within ourselves and assess what's needed and what must be released. We must take this deliberate time to identify, who we are and what we need.

And ultimately what we want to manifest.

Everything is a lesson, and all who we encounter our teachers. What is it that we are learning?

The breaking pains us but purposes us.

The breaking hurts us but helps us.

The breaking tries us but transforms us.

The breaking discourages us but delivers us.

The breaking saddens us but strengthens us.

We are breaking because we've ignored our needs for too long. We are breaking because we've donned masks to cover our authentic selves. We are breaking because it is vital for us to clearly communicate our needs and desires, without guilt or repentance.

We are who we are, and we are to love ourselves unequivocally. We are to accept ourselves unequivocally.

The breaking is not the end, it is just the beginning.